Why do i still cry about him.?

i dont know why i still cry about him.? yea i feal in love for him. Is it bc hes my first love? I mean im a tomboy i didnt really pay attenchion to guys. I moved to a new school. He( he shall not be named.) was my naybor.( sorry for my typos, my phone is small.) I meet him on the bus first day of school at sat with him. We always went fishn and hanged out. I thought of him as my bro. But he dated my bff . I got jelious. They broke up. His dad died one day and i came to pay my respects and he was out there swimming in the lake. I think he tried to do sueaside. luckly i pulled him back up. Well that was also the day i got my first kiss. Time ped and he used me like i was his hoe! Always slapn my and ect. I asked him to stop. He did. But i thought he was jst hormoning. So i didnt take it as he liked me. Last day of school, he told me he loved me.i have moved back. And i cry . He used me i was tryn to get over him but i cant. I dont no why? Something about him i still love. By the way im 14 he 15.js